How to Get Out of a Rut
Who feels like they’re stuck in a rut? Anyone, or is it just me?
What is a rut? A rut is a pattern that has become unproductive but hard to change. This post is as much for me as anyone else today because I’d been in a rut for a little while and I am starting to come out of it. Humans fall in and out of ruts, but what can we do about them? I am hoping that by sharing with you, you can see if you are thriving or if you need some support in getting out of your own rut. I share while I am actively climbing out, as there is power to that, as well as sharing my experiences with you that I have already navigated.
If you’re not currently in a rut, that is awesome. I do, however, think this will come in handy because at some point, you may find yourself in a rut again, and here is how you can get out.
Have you found yourself complaining a lot lately? That could be an indication that you are in a rut. We fall into ruts because of the thoughts we are repeating that are not serving us, and our thoughts can lead us out of our rut as well! So what do I do when I am feeling stuck?
First, I may ask a friend to coach me through what I am thinking. Many times when we are in ruts, we are not even aware of the thoughts that got us there. Talking it over with a friend, coach or counselor can help us gain clarity on what we are thinking. Once we identify the thoughts that are not serving us, then we can start to flip the script and find our way out of the rut.
Next, I know I am in a rut because when something is not going the way I’d like I start complaining for complaining sake. Then, when people start to offer quick fixes, I don’t want to hear them. Complaining for complaining sake, is indicative of being stuck. Is that what you really want?
When I am stuck, whatever solutions others offer, super annoy me when I’m in a rut. I don’t want to hear them. I just want to complain, and be grumpy, and negative about this thing that has a very easy fix and isn’t even a real problem. Are you with me? AND, after you feel the feelings, the frustration, the disappointment, the fill in what you experience, then you have a CHOICE. You can stay spiraling in the thoughts that are not serving you, or you can choose again. Before I started studying
coaching, I would think, complain,spiral and get stuck. Now, I am more aware of my thoughts. Awareness is a useful and necessary first step. It also keeps me from spiraling because I’ll hear myself complain and then I’ll sort of cut myself off and redirect.
A lot of times we complain to our coworkers or family members. Sometimes when we are talking about how something is annoying or frustrating, and we don’t have a question we want addressed, or a solution we seek. That is how we know we are complaining for complaining sake. That is not a problem in itself, it is the habit of complaining, without capturing the thoughts that causes us to spiral and get stuck. So complain, if saying things out loud somehow makes you feel better, but pay attention. How often do you do this? Does it really help you feel better? If it does, great, but if you are not feeling better, and you feel yourself spiraling, then capture your thoughts, see how they create your emotions and your reactions, and then look for something else to focus on or some other way to see things.
I will stop here for today, but I will pick this up and connect it to our critical inner voices next time. For now, have a wonderful week, and just think about your thinking and notice your patterns of complaining.
There are a lot of ways to get support. Through coaching, I can support you when you are in a rut and assist you in finding your way out of your rut. I offer group coaching sessions as well. Book a free discovery call today!
